My BMI is 16.7

I never really mentioned much about myself. I grew up in Ontario, then when I was done grade 12 moved to B.C.. I took a second year of grade 12 because time I took off from being in the hospital for treatment (just another thing my ED took from me). I had an alright upbringing, I have a good family. 2 older sisters who are beautiful and smart. But then again so am I, and I do have everything going of me. I know I can do anything I want to, the only thing is this stupid problem I have been living with for years. My eating disorder has deprived me of a lot of my potential. I spend time on manipulating my body,which lowers my concentration for better and more meaningful things. Really I have developed a love/hate relationship with an evil disorder that I have created in my mind. All the things I aspire to be have nothing to do with food/my body and I wish this relationship wasn't my way to cope with everything in this world.

I am 19, in collage and living with my boyfriend. My BMI is 16.7: 103lbs and 5ft.5.5in. 18.5 is underweight so I guess as much as I argue with my doctor saying I'm not underweight, I am. But in my mind anyone who's BMI is 18(just underweight) is so overweight, way over average lol... Even if my eating disorder is not active (I am recovered with occasional slip ups) if I was not underweight (fat is over 106lbs), I would have to resort back to an eating disorder. There are ways that people can live good lives and be skinny free of an ED. I am currently in between healthy and anorexic, it takes a lot of time to transition. Most likely, out of my control, I will be here for quite a while.